Fairy King vs. Mere Mortal: Ultimate Red Flag Checklist

Welcome to the most magical (and slightly unhinged) red flag checklist of all time! Ever wondered if your person (ex/partner/fiancee/significant other) is worse than an actual Fairy King from folklore? Whether it's a situationship, marriage, or that one person who still haunts you, let’s find out! This checklist is all in good fun, but it also serves as a handy guide to spotting red flags whether they come wrapped in charm, magic, or just plain old toxic behavior. By the end of this, you will know what kind of breed your person is (it can be fae, mere mortal, or hybrid!). Spot red flags early to avoid full toxicity!

🏆 THE RULES

🔺Check each red flag that applies to either the Fairy King or mere mortal

🔺Tally up your scores at the end to see how bad it is

🔺Compare results and decide: Did you date a Fairy King? A walking red flag? Or both?

🔴 THE ULTIMATE RED FLAG CHECKLIST 🔴

🔥 FAIRY KING 

✅ Kidnaps you to their realm "for your own good" (Non-consensual isekai adventure.)

✅ Erases your memories with magic (Gaslighting, but make it enchanting.)

✅ Isolates you from mortals ("They’re beneath you, darling." Translation: No escape.)

✅ Gifts you cursed jewelry/dresses (Love-bombing with fine print.)

✅ Starves you via fairy food rules (Eat it = trapped forever. Don’t eat it = wither away.)

✅ Ghosts you for 100+ years (Immortal time management)

✅ Threatens to turn you into flora/fauna (Tulip today, gone tomorrow.)

✅ Has a dramatic ex (Immortal drama follows them everywhere.)

✅ Makes you dance until your feet bleed (But it’s romantic because music.)

✅ Forbids you from saying their true name (Power play + avoids accountability.)

✅ Steals your voice/song/laughter (Because your joy is now their treasure.)

✅ Tricks you into signing contracts (Fae loopholes = toxic ex’s "technically we never labeled this!")

✅ Shapeshifts to test your loyalty (Catfish, but with actual fur.)

✅ Binds your soul to an object (“Wear this ring forever!” = supernatural clinginess.)

✅ Punishes you for breaking "unspoken rules" ("You knew stepping on mushrooms was disrespectful!")

✅ Makes you forget the sun exists ("Why would you need daylight? I am your light.")

✅ Feeds on your emotions/sorrow (Literally nourished by your suffering.)

✅ Forces you to guess their wishes ("If you loved me, you’d know what I want.")

✅ Traps you in a time loop (Replaying your worst fight forever.)

✅ Whispers prophecies to haunt you ("You’ll always come back to me.")

✅ Curses anyone who helps you escape (Isolation via collateral damage.)

HOW BAD IS IT?

⚔️ 1-2 flags: A mere sprite. Mischievous, but not malicious.

⚔️ 3-12 flags: High Fae of Drama. Worthy of a ballad (warning)

⚔️ 13-19 flags: Unseelie Court Royalty. Run. Don’t look back.

⚔️ 20+ flags: Eldritch Abomination. You didn’t date, you survived a folktale.

(Tag a friend who’s dated a Fairy King or just a guy who wishes he was this glamorous.)

🔥 MERE MORTAL

✅ Love-bombed you, then switched up ("You’re my soulmate!" → "I need space." in 2 weeks.)

✅ Isolated you from friends/family ("They just don’t get us like I do.")

✅ Compared you to their ex constantly ("My ex never complained about this" Cool, go back to them?)

✅ Future-faked (Big talks of trips, moving in, marriage, all vaporware.)

✅ Hot-and-cold games (Texts you novels at 2AM, ghosts you by noon.)

✅ Gaslit you into doubting reality ("I never said that. You’re imagining things.")

✅ Had a secret side person (or three) ("We’re just friends!")

✅ Tantrums over minor things (Yelled over you using the wrong emoji.)

✅ Breadcrumbing (Just enough attention to keep you hooked, never enough to date.)

✅ Double standards (They can flirt, but you can’t even like a meme from a friend.)

✅ Weaponized mental health ("I can’t help my actions, I’m depressed!" but refuses therapy.)

✅ Stalked your socials (Liked a pic from 2017 at 3AM. "Just scrolling!")

✅ Made you their unpaid therapist (Trauma-dumped daily but shut down your feelings.)

✅ Jealous of inanimate objects ("You care more about your thesis than me!")

✅ Hated all your friends ("They’re bad influences." Translation: They see through me.)

✅ Tried to change your appearance ("You’d look prettier if you dressed like my type.")

✅ Guilt-tripped you for boundaries ("I guess I just care more than you do.")

✅ Kept exes/ex-flings on standby ("We’re just close!" Meanwhile, DMs: "U up?")

✅ Never apologized sincerely ("Sorry you felt that way." Not sorry for what they did.)

✅ Broke up with you to test you ("I just wanted to see if you’d fight for me!")

✅ Used "trauma" to excuse abuse (Real trauma = valid. Using it to manipulate = 🚩)

✅ Made you feel small for your interests ("You still watch that? Grow up.")

✅ Withheld affection as punishment (Silent treatment for not reading their mind.)

✅ Took credit for your growth ("You’re only confident because I loved you." LOL no.)

✅ Dismissed your achievements ("Cute. Anyway, my job is harder.")

✅ Monopolized your time (Got mad when you had plans without them.)

✅ Blamed you for their actions ("You made me cheat!")

HOW BAD IS IT?

📌 1-2 flags: A mere mortal with flaws. Not great, but not folklore-worthy.

📌 3-12 flags: Certified Red Flag Human™. Time to burn the love letters.

📌 13-20 flags: Toxic Elder Demon. Did you date a supervillain?

📌 21+ flags: MYTHOLOGICAL MENACE. Your ex belongs in a cautionary fairy tale.

(And if you checked all of these, please accept this virtual iron charm for protection🛡️)

📊 SCORING & RESULTS

Count your checked boxes for each category:

Mostly Fairy King:

🎭 You may have dated a mythical being! Congrats?

Mostly Your Person:

🚨 Certified Human Red Flag! Your person is worse than a literal trickster fae. That’s impressive (in the worst way).

Equal Scores:

🔥 You’ve encountered a Hybrid Menace! A rare breed of chaos, part fae, part toxic human. Seek a witch or therapist for cleansing.

Low Scores:

🌿 You Dodged Both! Either you have great taste, or the Fairy King hasn’t found you yet.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Whether your (past/current) partner is a magical tyrant or just a regular walking red flag, recognizing these traits helps avoid them in the future! So, who won? Fairy King or your person? Drop your scores in the comments! 👇

(Disclaimer: No fairies were harmed in the making of this post. Your person, however, well.)

Tag a friend who needs this PSA.