Archive for May 2020

It’s not the end yet.

That’s the first sentence I put on my 2020 vision board. Just because I know, it is not the end yet even though everything seems stagnant. But then I realized that life is about ending and beginning. There are many endings and beginnings provided for us in order to grow. I used to fear the ending, as much as the beginning, because it’s unknown. I used to hold everything that makes my comfortable life around me. That’s the natural tendency of living being, to preserve their existence and maintain what’s considered as balance. I might associate endings with painful things, so I don’t want to get it. I want to continue my current life without any problems. But the familiar and the known only make you fear the changes, you then remain the same, you don’t want to learn anything new, because you are too scared to dip your fingers into the unknown pool.

Recent;y I’ve been thinking more than usual. It might have turned into overthinking, but I know I will be okay. I try to understand who I am, what I want, and why I was born. Yes, I always write positive things here, that everything is meant to shine because they have a purpose to be born in this world. But then, I came into a situation where I question myself : is this my purpose? Am I doing it right? Am I deceiving myself? Am I crazy? Why am I doing different things from majority of people around me? Are differences unacceptable? Can I live peacefully with my own self?

Yeah. I’m scared sometimes, of the unknown, of the possibility that I won’t be no longer doing what I love to do. What really important for me is freedom. The freedom expressing myself in any form I enjoy. That has been the blockage I face since my childhood. I’m now working with it, to heal the wounded part of me. That I can’t think of anything else.

I’m not questioning what other people decisions are. I’m not interested in judging other people’s life. That’s their rights to decide the best for them.

I appreciate everyone who shows their care to me, but I have set my own boundaries, that I’m the one who decides for my life, nobody else can. If my surrounding get hurt of my decision, I will move on to another place, so we will no longer hurting each other. That’s another ending in order to let another beginning to happen. I used to be scared of being alone, but as I grow up, being alone is the thing that I need to understand myself as much as the need of some endings in my life. There is so much unfinished business from the past that are needed to sit with, to end the old cycles that are no longer serving me for the better. I can’t do that while being with other people. I only am able to do that when I’m only with myself.

I’m questioning so many things to myself. It feels so overwhelming sometimes, but then I get to know myself more. “What are feelings? Why do they exist? Why do people argue? Why do people stay in the same toxic cycle? Is marriage a life goal? Was you born to only meet your significant other in this lifetime? What is the point of staying in a toxic relationship? Why can’t people move on?” and so many other questions. Again, I’m not questioning to judge other people, yet I want to know what path I need to take. The best path that is created only for me.

For now, I don’t want to think anything other than healing myself. I don’t want to be asked whether or not I want to get married or something like that. I might change my mind, but it’s only me who decides to change it. Nobody else can change my mind, because they have their own mind to change.

As I tweeted before, this will be my last blog post before taking a (short) break. I need this break period in order to lessen the amount of things to do in my life. When I feel I have learned life-changing stuff, I will comeback to this blog to share it with you. I’m sorry I ended up typing anything that comes right into my mind when I open my text editor to write something in this blog.

If you accidentally come across this blog post, thank you for stopping by. I hope, at least one thing I have written here, can be the help you need whenever you find this.

In this case, I would say that it’s not the end yet. Not because I’m afraid of It, but because I don’t think I will end this blog. I will comeback surely, I have renewed this blog subscription too, so I won’t waste the money lol. Another message for anyone who needs it : please take a break when you feel you need it, or when your body signals something wrong happening. Listen to your body, pause for awhile to give it more love, then comeback with 1000% power.

Well. Take care. See you on the next post.

Title picture by lailiving

Photo by Sebastien Gabriel on Unsplash

By just staying at home, you help your neighbor, your family, the medical staff, and even the country in preventing the virus to spread more. You might be wondering what other things you can do to help people out there while staying at home. You are helping yourself and other people now But, here are some other things you can do to help more people by not going anywhere else.

7 THINGS YOU CAN DO TO HELP FROM HOME

1. Use Yahoo! JAPAN

Currently Yahoo! JAPAN is holding a campaign where they will donate 1 yen for every search you input using the keyword のりこえよう from May 1 to May 6. The donation goes to medical field support. You can participate by simply typing のりこえよう and click search so that a page like this will appear as a thank you for participating. You can join the campaign by this link.

2. Browse using Ecosia

As I mentioned before, you can help the environment by using Ecosia for planting trees around the world. This search engine will report how many trees you can plant by showing the numbers on the top right of its interface. Ecosia can be a great search engine alternative to your usual search engine if you want to plant trees while doing what you love to do at home.

3. Choose online shopping

With the current situation, online shopping is highly recommended since it decreases the physical contact among people. The most important thing to remember when you do online shopping is buying only the things you need. When you are not sure whether or not you need certain stuff, you can leave them in your shopping cart for 3 days, then you can decide.

4. Buy products that join 1% for the planet

You can participate to donate to certain cases by buying products from some sellers / brands that donate their profits and/or join the 1% for the planet (they will donate 1% of their profit for this website to help the world). One skincare brand that I really love, Krave Beauty announced that they are now member of 1% for the planet, so you can take care your skin while helping the environment too.

5. Don’t share anything unless it’s official

If you can do something to physically help other people out there, you can help by not sharing anything unless it’s official ones. In this kind of situation, we can easily be overwhelmed with many articles or contents that share new and weird things in order to gain views number. Don’t buy into that. You are smart enough to differ which one is credible. Personally, I only subscribe to WHO newsletter for the daily reports, even though I don’t usually read it every day. It’s so much simple than reading random group chats full of speculations and hoax. So that you get the right information and you can save more time to do other things.

6. Consume and share good contents

You can support other content creators by sharing their contents too. Consuming good contents benefits you, you have good energy and mindset so that you see life positively and impact others by creating positive circumstances around you. Sharing good contents not only help the author to promote their works, but also help other people in your social media circles to have better insights too. You can help many people including yourself by simply sharing one good content whether it’s blog post, music, podcast or youtube video.

7. Pay your bills and be grateful

For some people, it’s hard for even paying bills monthly, especially when they have no jobs due to the virus. For you, who are able to pay your bills, pay it regularly and gratefully. Feel the gratitude for the money you have and the service you’ve been enjoying. Gratitude will bring more blessing into your life. It doesn’t literally give you some sudden money after paying your bills, even though there is a possibility for it. Blessings can be anything. The amount of money you have is one kind of blessings too.

Yeah! So it’s supposed to be a weekly message for Sunday, but I forgot it (I slept the whole day after laundrying and doing other stuff), haha, so I wrote this blog post today without really knowing what I want to share, I think it's the shortest post I made this year. I hope this short yet cool blog post can inspire you to act wisely while staying at home. Please remember that your existence gives meaning to the world. Everything you do gives impact whether it’s good or bad. So, be mindful of your doings. If you have some ideas to help more people while staying home, you can leave it in the comment box below. Sending you so much love, see you on the next post. Keep living, keep loving, and peace!

Title picture and infographic by lailiving

Photo by Hugo Sousa on Unsplash

Hello! Welcome back! Yay! We are now in May. April for me was super fun, like I had some ideas that I couldn’t do them all in only a month. Haha. April also had some days where it felt so hot, we could see the bright sunlight even at 5 PM, we had heavy rain too. Unpredictable weather, haha. I listened to more songs during May, for my private project “soundtrack” that helped me a lot with visualizing. I also emptied one of my favorite skincare products, a bit shocking, I thought it still had more left in the bottle.

1. Blog : weekly message new format, April Entries, domain renewal

I decided to buy a domain on April 16, so April 16 is lailiving.com birthday too, haha. It means that this month I did domain renewal too. There are some things I did for my blog that are a bit different from my usual format. The weekly message and monthly message formats are changed to be more practical than the previous ones. I also decided to add some infographics I made myself to the post so that it looks more informative and understandable.

2. Book : Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabbat-Zin

Yay, finally I finished this book! It’s supposed to be March reading material, but as I mentioned in March Highlight that a book wanted me to re-read it by appearing like everywhere. This book is similar to the book I re-read in March which is about being in the present moment. This is a book by Jon Kabbat-Zin that talks more about meditation and the step-by-step for doing that. It stresses more to not go anywhere else, but truly being in the current place you are in. it’s not about being somebody else, but being who you already are.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Wherever You Go, There You Are :

"If we are not fully present for many of those moments, we may not only miss what is most valuable in our lives but also fail to realize the richness and the depth of our possibilities for growth and transformation."

"...be yourself and not try to become anything that you are not already."

"Stress is part of life, part of being human, intrinsic to the human condition itself. But that does not mean that we have to be victims in the face of large forces in our lives."

"....meditation is about letting the mind be as it is and knowing something about how it is in this moment. It’s not about getting somewhere else, but about allowing yourself to be where you already are."

"Trust that in this moment, “This is it,” whatever and wherever “this” is."

"We don’t have to come up with answers, nor think that there has to be one particular answer. Better not to think at all."

"....walk in beauty, wherever you are."

"You are not competing with anybody else’s body or even aiming to improve your own. You are

not judging how your body is doing."

"We resonate with one another’s sorrows because we are interconnected. Being whole and simultaneously part of a larger whole, we can change the world simply by changing ourselves."

"It is so much easier to find fault, to blame, to believe that what is needed is a change on the outside, an escape from the forces that are holding you back, preventing you from growing, from finding happiness."

"Nothing is isolated. Each event connects with others. Things are constantly unfolding on different levels."

"You might say you are your name, but that is not quite accurate. Your name is just a label. The same is true of your age, your gender, your opinions, and so on. None are fundamental to who you are."

"Spiritual simply means experiencing wholeness and interconnectedness directly, a seeing that individuality and the totality are interwoven, that nothing is separate or extraneous."

"Our demons, our dragons, our dwarfs, our witches and ogres, our princes and princesses, our kings and queens, our crevices and grails, our dungeons and our oars are all here now, ready to teach us."

3. Skincare empty : PURITO Green Level Buffet Serum

Another skincare that I emptied was PURITO Green Level Buffet Serum which is my favorite, since it works well and smells so good (contains lavender oils - if you have sensitive skin, I recommend the unscented one in white bottle). This serum contains my favorite niacinamide and centella asiatica extract that calm my skin (especially when a new acne is about to pop out). It works really well with my combination skin, my skin absorbs the serum quickly and it leaves my skin hydrated. Not sticky at all. It came with a pump bottle and it can be disassembled easily for the recycling process. PURITO is also a brand that supports environment and animals, you can see the label cruelty free on its packaging and how they choose the packaging material like this. I will definitely buy another bottle. Haha.

4. Private Project : SNOW

My on-going private project is a fiction novel titled SNOW. It's a story that contains many things I've experiences, my thoughts and my views about life, I believe it's the best private project I've ever made. I will change the title later if I find another catchy title, haha. It’s a project for myself as advice from someone for reducing stress and creating an outlet for my overload thoughts. By writing the story, I feel so much better everyday. I ever written a story (I think it's a darker one) and I always get nightmares when I write it before bed. Yet SNOW is different, I usually write it before bed, and I don’t get nightmares at all. It’s now reaching chapter 18 and 100-ish pages which makes me surprised. I never thought that I would be able to write this much and to keep writing consistently. If you want to reduce the amount of stress or the thoughts inside your head, you can do a similar private project as mine. It shouldn’t have to be perfect since it’s only you reading this. When you aim this project for the public, it might cause another stress, haha, so it’s better to make it private. Later, when you feel you want to publish it, you can polish the story more. I also made a playlist on Spotify for this private project titled SNOW Soundtrack, that consists of the songs that are suitable to be the background for certain scene / chapter.

5. Playlist : CLEAR, Princess, Who I Am, Again

CLEAR is a song by famous singer Maaya Sakamoto which is used as the opening theme for my favorite series Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card. When I watched the series for the first time, I didn’t really pay attention to the song, and it didn’t leave much impression on me. But for April, I got the urge to listen to this song, and magically I really like it more than before. My favorite line is “Even if I don’t have wings to fly, I will run until I reach the place I want to be”. For me, it’s a song for hope and it has the clear vibe that I really like.

Listen here : MaayaSakamoto - CLEAR (Spotify)

Maaya Sakamoto - CLEAR (YouTube)

Princess is a song that was released 4 years ago by my favorite singer miwa. This song sounds suitable for my previous 2 blog posts about wizards and ugly frogs that were inspired by fairytales. It has a cute theme yet refreshing at the same time. Yes, we all have the princess part inside of us, whether you realize or not. As Jon Kabbat-Zin stated in his book that I mentioned above, we are all having those fairytales’ creatures to work with. My favorite line is “I can ride the pumpkin because I believe in magic”. When you believe, nothing is impossible.

Listen here : miwa -Princess (Spotify)

Who I Am is the newest single released by miwa that is empowering and instantly becomes my favorite. The repeated lines like You know who you are, We know who we are and I know who I am really get engraved in my head. She also sang the song from her home with only her playing guitar, and I really like it.

Listen here : miwa - Who I Am (Spotify)

Miwa - Who I Am -Stay Home Ver- (YouTube)

Again (English Ver.) is the newest song by my favorite singer Beverly that previously was released a year ago in Japanese. This song was released firstly on Avex YouTube channel and I immediately like it. Then it’s available on Spotify global as well. It became one of my most listened to songs during the month of April. This song was released when I wrote a sad chapter of SNOW where the main character had to say goodbye to her family. So this song is really suitable for that chapter, that every time I listen to it, I get reminded to that particular scene where she cried all night. Haha. Also, Beverly's voice is unforgettable and super super cool. I can cry whenever I listen to any of her songs.

Listen here : Beverly - Again -English Ver. (Spotify)

Beverly - Again -English Ver. (YouTube)

All the songs I mentioned above are all the soundtrack for SNOW that are able to wake up the memories of some chapters that I had written. If I were given the chance to make it into a series or movie, I would choose the songs from my SNOW Soundtrack Playlist for it.

Oh, I think my April theme would be CLEAR, since I feel like seeing some things more clearly than before. That’s why I was drawn to this kind of picture and ended up making the title picture more simple than usual. Yes, I have done updating, so that I can see it clearly. That’s a good sentence! Thank you!

Yeah! That’s all for April highlight. How was your April? Let me know in the comment box below.

Title picture by lailiving

Photo by Franco Antonio Giovanella from Unsplash

Tweet Service by ClickToTweet

Hello, my loves! Welcome back to another monthly message! WOW! As I always say in every monthly and weekly message that time flies super fast, that I feel like there is no time where I feel bored or having nothing to do. I’m grateful that I’m given the chance to experience this kind of life where I feel mostly excited (yeah there are some time where I cry for hours too). For some of you who still have to go to work, we are on the same boat, haha. For some of you who do Ramadhan fasting, we are on the same boat too, haha. So, I need to change some of my schedule and it’s fun to arrange new schedules too.

Also, happy birthday to all May-born babies around the world! Yeay! You are growing to be more shining shimmering splendid!

Like the previous monthly message, I pulled some cards from my current kanji cards for May theme. When I opened the cards, I immediately laughed because there’s Hope card again. If you watch my kanji learning videos, you will know that this card loves to be everywhere, haha. Yeah, I got Glow, Dark, Hope, Cloud and Float. The image I got when I saw them was fireflies. They glow in the dark and float like clouds, haha.

So, the theme for May is GLOW.

Glow might be the thing that’s currently in the 2020 resolution for some of you. Whether it’s glowing in the school, glowing in the career you choose, or literally making your skin glowing. No matter what kind of glow you want to have, if you find this post, I believe it’s a sign that the GLOW you want to achieve is a couple steps ahead. You just need to keep going and not to stop.

In this post, I want to share some tips to glow yourself up, to let yourself shine as you are. To glow up means you are comfortable in your skin, you are confident and feel beautiful by just being you and doing your calling. Shortly, it’s being the best version of yourself. You don’t need to look like Hollywood stars or Korean idols to feel beautiful. That feeling is the one that you decide yourself, no matter how other people see you.

8 Thing You Can Do to Glow Yourself Up

1. #DefineYourself

You can be literally anything you want. Don’t let other people influence what you want to be and to do. They might project their dreams and expectations onto you, but you have the rights to decide your own life. You have the right to define yourself, to be who you are meant to be. I ever said that we are all connected and originally from the same source, yeah, that means there is so much potential available for us. If you don’t have anything you want to do, you can look up someone you admire, read books, or learn astrology. Honestly, I found the things that I really want to do when I have graduated from college, haha, that time I learned my own birth chart and it’s kind of an inspiration for me to do something that I never thought of. I always love writing and expressing myself through words, but I never did it seriously, some of my blogs were left unmanaged, so I decided to make one that speaks my heart out years later which is this blog. Now, I see myself as a blogger, a spontaneous blogger who writes things without tight plans. And it’s fun.

2. Shed that dead skin cells

Like the dull skin, you need to shed the dead skin cells on the top of the skin to allow your skin to glow naturally. You need to let go of the old habits, thoughts, and patterns you have for years that are no longer serving you for the good. By letting go, you allow yourself to be the real you without the clouded views and beliefs. As long as you haven’t shed the dead skin cells, you don’t need brightening skincare or instant whitening cream. It might work at first, but the problems will still be there because you still hold onto them. It’s the same as your life, as long as you haven’t faced your shadows, your old clouded beliefs, your fears, or anything that doesn’t serve you, you don’t need expensive cars, big houses, luxurious wedding parties or millions of followers. Those might make you “happy” for a couple months but your old stuff is still there wanting your attention.

3. Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is like wearing sunscreen. Yeah, as someone who doesn’t wear foundation or even make-up, sunscreen is the most important army to protect my skin from UV damage. Your expensive skincare won’t work effectively if you walk around the city without the right amount of SPF on your skin. Setting boundaries can be anything that won’t allow other people to sit on your driver seat. It’s your life, you are the only driver, nobody is. The most difficult thing for some people might be saying NO. You were taught that to be a good person, you won’t make other people upset. That makes you constantly say so many YES-es that it’s so overwhelming. You don’t need to keep doing that now. By saying yes to unnecessary things, you say no to important ones. So, know which ones are the important things and know your limits too.

4. Express yourself

Expressing yourself might be scary for some of us (it used to be scary for me some years ago). It might be rooted on our childhood days when we experienced certain situations where we were limited to express our needs and emotions, from that place you learned that expressing yourself honestly means hurting yourself because other people go against you and say that you don’t deserve to express yourself. This makes you live in a small cage for years. If you find this post, and you are still living in that cage, it’s time to break free. Those voices that constantly say that you are not worthy or don’t deserve freedom of self-expression are outdated opinions. The updated version is that you have the same freedom as the other person to express yourself.

5. #FocusOnTheGood

As I always mention in my blog post, that by focusing on the good we magnify its power. By focusing on the good, you then affect your surrounding whether or not you can see it. You are attracting what you are. By constantly putting your focus on good things and surrounding yourself with good people, you have a good energy that will bring more good stuff into your life. Even though being negative is now easier (that’s why negative contents get more attention), you don’t need to follow that stream. Swim in your own direction. #FocusOnTheGood even if it’s only you doing that.

6. Be gentle

Darkness allows you to see your own light. Sometimes we can’t see our own lights because we always see other people’s lights. Then the darkness comes to remind you that you also have that light inside you. It exists but you didn’t realize it. In this journey, you are NOT required to ALWAYS feel good and have positive feelings, darkness is needed too. When you fall into the darkness, it’s the chance to see your own abilities and skills that have been unnoticed for so long. Don’t make the darkness to be your reason to fall deeper and never go up by beating yourself. That’s your chance to notice your glow.

7. Try new things

Trying new things can be learning new skills, doing your routines differently or doing something that you used to have no idea about before. By trying new things, you allow yourself to learn something new, you allow your brain to make new pathways. Even if it's a small thing, it will change how you see yourself positively. For me, I’m doing some changes for this blog starting 2020. Writing this blog in English is one of the challenges I made for myself. I then try different formats to use and try new things like doing #MyKindFebruary project and making youtube videos. You shouldn’t need millions of likes from people to do new things, even if nobody sees you, it doesn’t change the value you get.

8. Know that it’s not competition

There is no competition to be more glowing than others or to compare whose light is more beautiful. The journey to being confident and comfortable as yourself can’t be compared to other people’s. Everyone experience different path and different things, you can’t compare yourself to your sisters or your friends. By comparing, we are prone to have ‘you win-I lose’ mentality. Instead, choose to see other people’s glow as a sign that you too can glow. There is no winning and losing in this journey. It’s a journey where we can be the best version of ourselves and help other people to do so.

Like the fireflies, they don’t compete with each other to be more beautiful or to shine more light than others. They all glow as themselves. They work together to create beautiful scenery we can enjoy. You too, you can glow as yourself, you can feel comfortable by being yourself, and work together with everyone to create a beautiful glowing planet.

Yeah. This post seems to be the longest monthly message I’ve ever done. And I think it’s another cool post I made, I’m proud of this baby. Thank you for visiting and stopping by, see you on the next monthly message. Keep living, keep loving and peace.

Infographic by lailiving

Photo by Gayatri Malhotra on Unsplash

Icons made by Freepik from Flaticon