Hello!

I made this entry to thank everyone who has visited, read, put comments, and shared this blog. This blog has grown better than my first one in its first year, especially this month. I aim for 14k overall views by the end of the year and it did! Even though we haven’t left 2019 yet. Thank you for interacting with this blog. I set this 14k goal for fun. It happened in one night. I was thinking of how it could be possible to reach 300 more views in only 3 days. Then a tiny voice inside my mind said that there is nothing called impossible when you stop overthinking then let it be as it is.

By the Sunday it has surpassed 14k. Thank you thank you thank you. This 14k goal is actually a sudden goal I set for fun, it has nothing to do with competing with others nor getting certain amount of money from views, it’s for my personal happiness. I’m grateful that this blog is able to reach many things and for me given the chance to experience this.

This blog is 9 months old but it has reached many things. I’m grateful to be able to create this place to share my thoughts and hopes. I hope this blog will reach more people and help them, at least shine a light to those who need it. I want everyone to know that life isn’t that bad as you always see and hear through everyone around you. Life is not punishment. You were sent to this world to make changes, not to suffer nor being a victim of circumstances and people around you. You came to this world to spread love and peace, to cooperate with other people, to make this Earth beautiful with your own color. 

It’s an urge for me to spread this hope. In the past I might see life from blurred screen the people provided for me, I was filled with so much fears, hate and anxiety, I used to hate myself. I couldn’t see who I truly am. I felt trapped in this body and in this lifetime that I didn’t want to face the tomorrows.

I want to help people who currently feel like getting stuck in the similar situation as mine for so long. That’s how lailiving was born. Yes. I’m still learning too. We are all learning forever.

I’m grateful that I get this chance to create lailiving.

Also, thank you to everyone who has donated to PayPal and Buy Me A Coffee. May all the good energy you have sent brings more good things into your life. Everything I receive through this blog will be used for creating something new, for expanding my creativity in order to provide better content here. 

2019 was a better year for me compared to 2018 or 2017, I cried a lot but as I’m able to cry out my emotions, I feel way lighter after. I only got sick twice, flu in the beginning of the year and chickenpox in the last half of the year. The recovery process was faster than the year before. I believe that it comes from the good energy I got from good content I consume during the year, like inspirational videos, books and songs. I surround myself with positive things a lot more than previous years. One of my favorite books is You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay which talks about connection between your feelings and diseases you have, and so much more. Even though I have read this book before 2019, but I started to really pay attention to this book seriously this year. It’s felt like a lightning coming in the middle of the huge storm, an awakening lightning. I was like : where have I been these years that I ignore such important messages? 

Other books which have been helping me a lot are books by Rhonda Byrne. She has a power through her words written in her books to answer all of my questions and empower me at the same time. If you want to know what books I’m currently or I have read, you can visit my Goodreads account. I hope by reading one of those books, you get the help you need.

Closing 2019, I’m grateful for everything I’ve accomplished this year. I’m proud of myself who have done many things during 2019. I’m thankful for the helps I received and the signs I needed to hear which always comes at unexpected time. For me, 2019 is a preparation for something big. I’m ready to jump into a new decade with a whole fresh new book. It’s a year of victory. So, let’s welcome this victorious year with open heart and smile.

Happy new year

Sending you love and light,

Lala from lailiving.com

You are doing great!

By the last week of December, you have accomplished many things and learned much. You are ready to face 2020 with so much confidence and ready to take the  next action towards your dreams. You might feel a hurry to do so many things and get the rewards soon, but you have to know that you also need to be nourished and taken care of. It’s important to balance your mind, body and soul needs. 

You have learned and gained so much this year. You need to take some time to be free from your work, to do list or goals. It can be spending time with yourself, with your pets, or people you love. Take this time as a chance to recharge and reflect. By spending some time alone, you are able to think calmly, not in a hurry. Consider what’s important to do next year, instead of what you should do. 

 Don’t worry, you are not missing any opportunities.

You have so much power and strength to create anything. If there is no opportunities you can find out there, create it yourself. Without realizing it, you’ve been living the life you have creating yourself. You have done this far, you are powerful.

Even if you feel dissatisfied with your life right now, you have other chances to try again. Later.

God will never change your life unless you change it yourself. You have the power and freedom to create the life you dream of. When you look back to your life before, you are getting better by time, right?

“No, my life hasn’t changed at all. I can’t do anything for my life”

“I always failed to reach even my small goals”

No.

God has put His trust to you to be the creator of your life. Don’t belittle yourself by saying you are incapable. Look at yourself now, your surrounding. Compare to yourself during elementary school or high school. Could your past self afford the things you have bought recently? Could your past self do the things you have achieved this year? 

Routines sometimes pull you out from who you truly are, because you have to put your focus on them. You have no time to listen to yourself, to understand your own feelings, to appreciate your hard work and to take care of your body. So, closing this 2019, you need to take a break to comeback to yourself. 

2020 promises changes and opportunities. In order to receive them, you need your body, mind and soul balanced. Don’t worry, it’s not the time to push yourself beyond the limit and break yourself into pieces. No. You have so many things to enjoy and receive later. 

Take a good night sleep, eat healthy food, do exercise, spend time with people you love, meditate, read books, watch inspirational videos, sing, dance, draw, paint, do anything which feels good.

Don’t worry, you will never miss anything. You will never be left behind. You will constantly grow. You are great. You have been so great, and always be greater than you think.

Alright. Wish you a wonderful 2020. May joy, happiness and love be all around.

Journal Prompts :

1. What do you need more of right now?

2. Is there an activity you would do if you weren't so afraid?

3. If you could live one day in the life of any profession, what would it be?

4. What's something you're looking forward to?

5. What's one thing you would change about your life right now?

Hello! 2020 is a couple steps to go! Are you ready?

For the new year, I drew another keyword for the whole year theme. I have set my yearly theme for 2020 in my journal before doing this draw. Has anyone set yearly theme for the year of 2020? This big theme will guide you along the year to reach your goal.

The good news is I got “victory” as collective 2020 keyword. 

Are you ready for this victorious year?

When you are assured that everything you put effort into next year will be your victory, what would you do in order to welcome it?

2020 is the beginning of the new decade, it’s time to declutter everything which doesn’t serve you, it’s time to sweep it all and let it go. It’s time for welcoming the victory. You have the amount of energy you need to clear your space, to let go of the old things and anything which blocks your victory. It’s also a reminder that it’s okay to say no to the things which doesn’t resonate to you. You are not going to carry other people’s baggage, because everyone is responsible for their own life. 

As you are making space for the new opportunities to come, it’s time to take necessary action toward your dreams. The fire inside you will fuel your everyday life to create and inspire others. Nobody can dim that fire. You have so much creativity and energy within to accomplish your goals. Once you set and visualize your goals, you certainly are going to achieve it. Don’t let people belittle you just because they can’t see it clearly. Your goals are yours, only you are meant to reach it, not anybody else. That’s why those might be unseen by everyone but you. 

You are your own driver for your trip, you have full control over the decisions you are going to make. Your victory is waiting for you in the end of the tunnel. 

Be aware of the signs around you which might help you along this journey. Everything you put effort into will be blessed. Go with the flow, let the rest work for you by itself. It’s important to detach from the outcome and remove the expectations. Ignore the urge to control the results. Focus on the things you can do and yourself, to nurture and take care of your body after working hard. Please be grateful for who you are today, for everything you have achieved. Take a little break to appreciate yourself for your hard work during this cycle. No need to rush to jump into the next project. Don’t let yourself get burned out. Your victory is surely coming next year. 

You also might want to travel somewhere especially overseas in order to expand your knowledge and experience. Do what is calling you to. Later, your knowledge and experience you accumulate from this new phase will be useful for yourself and people around you. Life is about learning. Be a happy student of life. Everything life throws at you is meant for your growth. Your growth means your victory.

So, what are you dreaming of for 2020? What are your goals? Set your goals, work for it, then the way will show itself.

May all of your dreams come into fruition. May you enjoy your life and be happy with your life. Your victorious year is about to come. Be ready. Be happy.

Hello! New year is about to come. Have you set your dreams for 2020? How do you welcome 2020 in order to elevate your life to be better? For me, I either use journal and vision board to list my dreams and goals so that I know which ones I need to focus on. This time, I’m going to show you how I create my simple vision board for the year of 2020. I don’t have set rules to make my vision board so it would be different each year depends on what currently inside my mind.

For 2020, I want to focus more on the root or meaning of the things I’m going to do. The years before I put my focus in physical things which makes me realize that I was about to forget the meaning of it, I didn’t enjoy the process because I’m too goal oriented. But, it doesn’t mean that kind of vision board is wrong. There is no mistakes in creating your own vision board. As long as you are empowered and motivated, anything can be in it. 

It’s not about creating instagrammable stuff but deeper than that. For me, Vision board is about anything you want to put your energy and focus on, the things which lead you and pull you back into the right path when you get distracted during the journey. It’s one of the tools you can come back to when you feel clueless and getting lost.

Things you have to  put on your vision board :

Anything (you can use clips from magazine, newspaper, brochure, or you can make your own by drawing or taking photos) which speaks most to your dreams and goals for the year

Materials you can use for vision board :

Anything (you can use the real white board, wire mesh screen/wire memo board, wood board, art paper, or any wide paper you like). You don't have to buy expensive stuff for creating vision board. For me, it's easier for me to use available stuff in my home.

Things you may need :

Pin

Paper clips

Adhesive tape

Scissors

Colored papers

Colored pens

Other option is vision board in online or digital version which makes it easier and less paper, but as I want to see my vision board right after waking up everyday, I made a physical one to put on my wall. You can also browse for online vision board maker too to make it quicker.

This year I made the quote myself on my computer and browsed for some pictures then printed them out

I reuse A3 art paper available in my room (it’s actually from my 2019 wall calendar) to put all the clips. I planned to buy wire memo board to make it reusable, but I’m going to move around 2020-2021, so I try to not add new stuff  in my room.

Yeah. This is it! My vision board 2020 is ready (some of the pics were removed due to privacy) 

I arrange them as I want to, there is nothing called ugly when creating your own life motivator. As long as it motivates and pushes you toward your goals, it's enough. You may add more clips / photos into your vision board later. You can change it as you want in the middle of your journey. Vision board is personal, there is no rules. Even if there are set rules, nobody will blame you for creating the different one for yourself, right? It's like your life, you have so much freedom you need to build and paint it as your preferences.

Don't be afraid. You are going to make all of your dreams come true. Leave all the judgement, focus on the goals and keep moving forward.

So, that’s my simple and easy 2020 vision board. How about yours? Do you use other techniques to create your vision board? Share yours in the comment box below. 

All photos by lailiving

We’ve gone through half of last month of 2019. As I write down the messages for each week, I’m feeling this last month of 2019 will be a good start for next year. For me, 2020 will be a year of practicality as Jupiter moving into Capricorn sign on Dec 2 for a year. How’s December going for you so far? The first 3 week we got fresh, safe and open. Then this fourth week is a time to receive.

I got the keyword “receive” along with the color of yellow. Yellow for me is symbolizing happiness. This week is a week of receiving happiness. You have let go of the old and open for the new ones to come, so it’s time to receive. It’s not limited to physical things, but also inspiration, love, sign and help. Whatever you ask for and you clean your space for, it will certainly come. 

The things you receive might be different from your expectations. Why did it come instead of that? You might ask and feel disappointed, but receiving isn’t always about the stuff which exactly you’re wishing for. Sometimes it’s only the appetizer coming early, the main dish is on its way. Sometimes that different thing is actually a better one than you expect. Sometimes you need to realize what life has sent to you is to challenge you to elevate. As I wrote in my Monthly Highlight for November, one of my favorite songs is Invisible from Zara Larsson *). The messages resonate to me. The greatest thing you’ll ever know is invisible. 

When you wish for the greatest, sometimes it makes you questioning the when and how. You sometimes feel worried, like how if that thing is delivered to another person. No. That greatest thing will never come to the wrong person. 

You can’t take it, steal it, but you always be it. That greatest thing you ask for sometimes the thing you already have within. It doesn’t mean you won’t get anything but life will send you the message or circumstances which allow you to realize that thing inside you. It’s time to fully receive and embrace it even though you already have it for long time without realizing it.

Yellow represents happiness, joy, intellect, positivity, optimism, hope and enlightenment. This week you are going to embrace these values. You are about to receive them, or you have already had within you and start to embrace and make them part of your daily life to inspire and shine a light to others. Yellow represents the color of sunshine which we love to see every morning, brings warmth and chance to grow. Everything you put effort into, everything you create to help others will certainly reach at least someone who needs it. You are bringing that light to people’s life. You are the sunshine. You don’t have to create something big, your kindness is the sunshine which shifts the energy around you and create comfortable environment.

You might question yourself for your ability to contribute to this world, that you feel like not deserving anything good for yourself. Don’t belittle yourself, don’t say you are incapable of anything. You might see yourself only are able to do small and ordinary things but those small things have brought significant changes to others. People might underestimate simple things but as it’s becoming someone’s habit, it would change his life whether or not it’s good one. Anything you are able to do is something which has energy. That energy will change the situation around you. So, instead of beating yourself up for doing only “small things”, try to receive and embrace all of the qualities you have already had within. Try to receive the reward you deserve for all of your hard work too. You are so much more than you’ve always thought.

Journal Prompts :

1. What's your favorite season and why?

2. What are you grateful for right now?

3. What's one thing you admire about someone?

4. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

5. What compliment did you receive recently?

This message popped into my head in a day when something happened, I think this message was meant for me. But, as there might be other people out there who experience similar thing, I decided to post the message here. That day, I got the word beautiful and jar. I immediately got reminded of a story about jar of life which is related to this. 

Life is beautiful.

The same thing might be looked different for other people. Some might see it as good thing, some other might see it as bad thing, while the other have no idea about it. Life is beautiful when you clear your mind from judgement. Clouded mind often leads you to see things unclearly, results in fears and negativity. When you have already put a label on something as bad, no matter what happens to that thing, you always see it as bad thing. Sometimes what’s considered bad isn’t always bad, what’s by society norms considered as good isn’t always good for you no matter how many people doing that thing.

You can’t know exactly what’s in other people’s mind, what’s their intention doing or saying something. When they say bad thing about you, that’s not you, that’s about themselves, they might experience bad things, but it's not about you. You have nothing to do with them. Yes, it hurts. But, you’ll get more hurt when you react by giving feelings to them. Let them pass by, don’t hold on other’s people sayings which hurt you. It might be hurting you now, acknowledge it, then let it go. 

By letting go that kind of stuff which is not necessary for you, you have decided to focus on your priorities, the things which are important for you. You are no longer magnifying and giving attention to unimportant things like that, so that kind of stuff will go by itself.

Did you know a story about jar of life?

You have an empty jar, you have golf balls, marbles, sand and wine to fill your jar. Golf balls are important things, your top priorities. Marbles and wine are not really important thing but they make you happy. Sand represents unimportant things. When you fill your jar by sand first, you will have no room for golf balls and marbles. It means, when you give your energy toward unimportant things which are meant to be deleted from your life, you won’t have enough energy to focus on important things like work, school, family, loved ones or friends.

When you fill your jar with golf balls first, then you will have space for marbles and wine. Yes, the things which make you happy. Life isn’t about good things only, there are times when the sand comes into your life. But, you have the choice to allow them drive you or not. Knowing that life has golf balls, marbles, sand, and wine, and being able to balance them all, will allow you to see the beauty of life.

Life is beautiful when you send your energy toward the essentials. You shouldn’t always run away from the bad things, sometimes you are required to ignore it, sometimes you have to solve it. Knowing what’s necessary steps to take is important. It will lead you to an understanding that whatever outer circumstances throw at you, you can always shift your focus into the necessary.  

You have that power. You know which one the best to choose.

No matter which one you choose, you have to know that life is beautiful, and so are you.

Title picture by lailiving

Photo by Tomoko Uji

A closed cup can’t be filled with anything. A blocked river can’t allow the water to flow anywhere. A blocked road caused traffic jam that nobody can move in or out from the road. What's closed or blocked will never allow anything to flow. In order to grow, you need the flow. A flow can be happening when the blockages or the lids are removed. 

Remove anything that blocks that flow from your life. It can be old perceptions, labels, or judgement toward everything around you. It can be people or circumstances which cause you to close yourself to block anything. Sometimes blockages come from your past experiences that bring you fear and hold you back. It’s okay to have fears, but when something is able to feed your curiosity and enrich your life, you need to open yourself. 

This week you are going to able to be more open toward new experiences which are meant to level up your life. You have the strength and will to overcome your fears and to differ which ones are the best for you to do. You have the ability to use your openness necessarily. Openness isn’t about explaining everything about yourself to other people nor completely accepting other people’s values, but seeing things through wider lens and different angles, so you will get better understanding about something. It is about courage to take action toward your calling, something which calls your soul, which makes your curiosity seeks for answers. 

You are already gifted with the ability to go toward your dreams. Everything you can dream about is actually possible for you, because you have the power to achieve it. If it’s unreachable for other people, it means this dream is only for you, not them. That doesn’t mean your dreams are impossible. Don’t belittle yourself when you have different dreams from majority of people. Don’t feel inferior when you haven’t seen your goal yet. You have to know that you are going to encounter many offers and possibilities which lead you toward your goal. A lot of doors are opening for you. 

This next week will be a week of opportunities being opened for you. You don’t have to accept everything offered to you. Don’t ever feel that you are going to waste the chances you don’t take. You have the ability to multitask, but knowing your limit is important in order to continue going this journey. It’s not a sprint, but a marathon. You need a good amount of energy to be there until the finish line. 

Being open is also about enjoying this life marathon. Whatever appears along your track is meant to be learned. Enjoying this journey while learning some new stuff will enrich you as you are reaching your goal. You are going to meet new people, experience new circumstances, and keep growing. 

The color I got for this week is violet which represents imagination, creativity, wisdom, calmness and harmony. You may start embodying the qualities of this color or you have already had it within whether you realize it or not. This week is going to be a balanced week as you are able to remove the lid on your cup in order to fill it. You are going to able to use your creativity and wisdom to take the next steps you need.

You are not getting stuck. You are growing. You are bettering yourself. You are guided and loved. Don’t ever think of stopping your life here. Never. You were born for fulfilling your calling in this world, because you were sent to this Earth for a great purpose. When you are willing to open yourself, a lot of doors are opening for you which lead you to that great purpose of your life. Your openness opens opportunities for you. I believe that you are meant to be a change and to succeed. Never give up.

Journal Prompts :

1. What is the most recent song you listened to?

2. What's one fictional character you've found yourself relating to very well?

3. If you used a time machine to go back in time and hang out with your past self from one year ago, what would you do?

4. Who is someone you want to be like?

5. What's one book you've read that you would say has greatly impacted your life?

Good morning! Good afternoon! Good evening!

Whenever you see this message, it’s meant for you. I started this day by seeing the number 1, 555 and 44 appearing in one line together. I’m feeling it’s really a good sign for this week and the next to come. I love finding this kind of repeated numbers appearing since it’s also messages to pay attention to. When you ask for help, you might get the answer through anything, it can be directly sent to you or indirectly through people, signs and anything around you. It’s important to be in the present moment and aware of the messages you ask for.

Number 1 symbolizes a new beginning. You are about to complete something big, whether it’s a long time project, study or other thing. It’s interesting, if you are reading this post right after it’s being published, we are also having full moon today. Full moon is also representing completion and ending of a chapter. As this current chapter ends, a new beginning will start. Moon is often related to dreams and clarity. In the end of chapter, you are able to get clarity toward your dreams.

Number 5 represents change, new opportunities, travel, expansion and freedom. When it appears in repeated number like 555, it strengthen its meaning. 555 is a major change about to come which leads you to freedom you are longing for. This major change requires letting go or ending of anything which no longer serve you for the good such as relationship, job, or your living environment. Sometimes it hurts to release or let go of something we used to be with, but this changes  are necessary for your further step, for your growth. Give space to the new thing which are better and about to give values into your life. It’s time to cut the cord for unhealthy relationship which has been hurting you for long time or holding you back from the necessary steps toward your dreams. This old has served its purpose to give you lessons in this life, so it’s time to let it go, be thankful for the knowledge you gained through this journey with them.  

Number 44 indicates that you are currently on the right path, keep going because your prayer, hope and wishes are always heard by God. You are being supported and guided. The answers you need will come in the right timing. The abundance you asked for is on its way. Don’t be afraid, you are not alone in this journey. You have blessed by the inner strength and wisdom to reach your dreams. 

Number 4 always reminds me of earth and finance. You are about to reach the financial stability too after being struggling for so long. Your hard work will soon be paid off, and you are going to harvest what you have planted before.

It’s also a number of congratulations. You are being reminded to congratulate your hard work and accomplishments. Celebrate your progress and growth. Appreciate how far you’ve come. Keep doing the good works.

For me, since it’s mirror number and 4 is about stability, it might be a sign that you are going to meet  people who are similar to you. You have the similar qualities and you might help each other or work together in this journey to reach  stability. It might be a help you’ve been asking for. Be open to the opportunities which being offered to you. Don’t be afraid. If you are radiating good energy, it will attract good people too. You will get what you have sent out.

To resume all of these numbers appearing today, it’s important to keep the balance of mind, body and spirit, you have been going on long journey. Pay attention to yourself, your body needs, your soul needs. You need the balance, keep the good food, being around inspiring people and taking some time to be with yourself to reflect. Be grateful for everything you’ve done and got today. You are so loved. Keep going.  You’ve gone this far.

You might question a lot about your life. Where should you go? Which one is the best? What do you have to do next? How can you reach your goals? Why do you get stuck in the current situation?

You might want many things. You might have a list of goals you should accomplish in certain time. You might pick up other people’s dreams too. Your parents’ dreams. Your friends’ dreams. Your neighbors’ dreams. You might admire other people who are successful and want to be like them. You might feel that you don’t have anything to help you achieve that. You might want the world to know who you really are. You might want people to understand what you are good at.

You don’t have to.

You don’t have to get the answers for all your questions right now. You don’t have to know everything at the same time. 

You don’t have to have a lot of things like other people do. You don’t have to accomplish your goals in short time. Even if other people can reach similar dreams shortly, it doesn’t mean their journey will be the same as yours. You don’t have to achieve other people’s dreams which are projected on you. Their dreams are theirs. Your dreams only belong to you. You don’t have to be the same like your parents, your siblings, your friends, your neighbors. You are you. You are unique and sent to this world with certain purpose which might be totally different from your family. You don’t have to get all the things you want right now. 

You don't have to explain yourself to everyone you meet. People who belong to you will be there without you ask them to. You are already loved without that 10 chapters explanation. You don't have to prove anything so hard to other people who aren't meant to be with you. You don't have to get billion followers and likes everyday. You don't have to be accepted by everyone in this world. You don't have to sacrifice yourself in order to fit in. When people ignore you, it means you are running in different frequency which don't meet each other. 

No need to rush.
Don't worry.
Your hard work will be paid off when you put good intentions in it.

What’s meant for you will certainly come for you. Set your goals, your intentions, do the very small things you can right now. It doesn’t have to be starting a big project. It doesn’t have to be building global partnership. It doesn’t have to be invest in large amount of money. It doesn’t have to be anything big at first. A small step does count and it will change your life as you continue walking on your path.  Keep looking at your north star, your sun, your whatever you are looking up to which sparks the fire inside you. Your answers will come. You effort will be blessed. Your finish line will be closer and closer as you don’t stop your small steps.

You don’t have to be the fastest

You don’t have to get it all now

Because you certainly will

Title picture by lailiving

Photo by Tomoko Uji

It reminds me of one day in November. As I said before, I got some big projects to handle and it’s pretty hard for me even though I’ve been doing this for 3 years. It used to turn into digestive problem after the projects finished, but this year as I could release all of the heavy thoughts into tears, I’m feeling healthier after that. That day when I cried for so long, that made my eyes swollen. At night, I got 2 cute fluffy dogs appearing in my dream and I took them for a walk to the nearest park. They are golden retriever and brown west highland terrier. I woke up happily in the next morning with the calmness and warm feeling. It’s said that dreaming of dogs is mainly a good sign, it’s a symbol of protection and success. I’m grateful that God sent these 2 cute dogs to accompany me in my dream, to ensure that I’m safe and protected. 

Okay. So, I got the word “safe” right after fresh for this month weekly message. One song which popped into my head was Sabrina Carpenter version of Safe and Sound (the original version is sung by Taylor Swift feat. The Civil Wars) *). This keyword strongly delivers a message that you are safe on your chosen path. You are being protected and guided. As this song is one of my favorites which brings calmness, I feel like this next week will bring similar calmness and peace.

Related post : Weekly Message : Fresh 

You might doubt your own self for starting something new, you sometimes doubt yourself to not being able to live without the things you’ve let go whether it’s a relationship, physical things or old habits. But, as you start and keep doing it repeatedly, you’ll feel that certainty, that you are going to able to get through this path safely. You will be okay.

This week’s color is blue appearing along with the images of seashell, water, hand and plant. Blue represents peace, sincerity, freedom, imagination, wisdom, stability, truth, intelligent and trust. By these images and color, I feel like this week will bring you a state of calmness and peace that you are able to express your ideas into reality freely. You have the power and ability to do what is necessary. You have to know that you are safe, God is protecting and guiding you, never let you get lost in this path. Keep going, keep showing up. The things you are creating are going to bring positive impacts for your surrounding. You have inner wisdom and messages to spread to the world, you have to trust your own self. Even if it seems not turn out good, or it doesn’t reach anyone, but it will, certainly. Everything you planted is going to be harvested someday. 

Don’t stop because you feel like not getting the responses you expected, don’t stop just because you are doing different things among the people doing similar things. Stop when you feel it’s necessary, to take a rest and come back to yourself. Everyone gives different color to this life which makes it beautiful, don’t try to fade your own color in order to fit in to the what’s called society standard. You are safe being in your color, singing your own song, playing your own music. Just because people seem to not pay attention nor listen to you, it doesn’t lessen your value. You might 100 steps ahead of the majority of people, that your messages seem not delivered as you want. That’s your uniqueness. 

You don’t have to reach million followers. You don’t have to get bunch of likes everyday. You don’t have to get nice comments for your artwork. You might launch your ideas and feel like nobody seeing it. That’s okay. You are still alive. It doesn’t make you inferior. Just be you. Be in your own element, bring your own color, be thankful that you are given this unique color to express and contribute to this world in this lifetime. You are completely safe being you. God trusts you that you are going to make positive changes that you’re sent to this world in this physical body with certain abilities and gifts for that purpose. So, you have to trust yourself too. There’s nothing wrong with you. You are safe, protected and guided. You are loved.

Note : blue represents calmness, seashell represent birth, water represents positive impact, hand means power, and plant means beginning. It’s only the beginning of your long journey, everything you are about to give or have given birth to, will bring changes in positive way to the world, you have the power for it. You have to trust yourself and keep doing what is needed. You are safe. 

Journal Prompts :

1. If you were to learn another language, which language would you choose and why?

2. If you had to write a book, what would it be about?

3. What is the biggest stress in your life right now?

4. What superpower do you wish you had?

5. What do you do when you're sad?

*) Related song :

Safe and Sound (Taylor Swift, The Civil War)

Safe and Sound (Sabrina Carpenter)

How about trying to be different version of you for one day? When you sometimes  feel disappointment for both yourself and others, or you often feel like being in the place of a victim and powerless, you might want to change something in your life. “If this person treats me better, I would reach that point”, “If this event never happened, I would never be like this”, “If I weren’t born poor, I would be happy now”.

There are things you can’t drive into your direction. Sometimes those things aren’t essential ones, but we give too much exposure to them. It turns out to seem big and important, but it’s actually not. Wanting to control everything leaves you feeling exhausted and feeling like a victim in the end of the day. 

Something you definitely could change is yourself, how you see things, how you react to circumstances, how you perceive others, how you appreciate the present moment. You may not be able to change events and people around you, no matter how hard you resist some circumstances, it will still happen anyway. You’ll be only hurting yourself by thinking negatively about a situation, it won’t go away until it’s meant to. All you can do is shifting your reaction and thoughts about it. 

Only for one day, try to act differently to the things you used to see as enemies or difficulties. Ignore the urge to drive everything onto your way. Move into neutral side. It’s sometimes not easy being neutral. But, objective and nonjudgmental thoughts lead you to clarity. Clouded mind often puts you into a place of being victim and blaming others, especially in the situation which are new and turbulent. See everything as lessons. Instead of asking from the place of victim by “Why me?”, change it into “Why did it happen?” “What messages do they try to deliver?”

Don’t beat yourself up when you make mistakes or face failures. Sometimes you resist because you are afraid of making the same mistakes. Fear is not a bad thing. Fear is your gift to protect you from danger. There are times when fear goes out to everything both new and old things. It’s sometimes required to listen to your fear to manage your next steps, but don’t let it stop you from achieving your dreams and your life purpose. You are allowed to take a break and plan for the next thing to do. You are allowed to change your direction if it’s necessary. You are allowed to ask for help. If you used to stick on fixed and controllable things, let yourself know that life has good and bad things. Life also gives you both controllable and uncontrollable stuff. You can’t expect your everyday will 100% go smoothly as your plans. But, you will be okay in any situation.

Being positive isn’t about having good mood all the time, but also accepting that sometimes we experience ups and downs. Accept both the good and the bad, then release them when they are meant to go.

Do different things from your routine and see what happens. People around you might react differently, circumstances might feel different, and you might get something new to learn and to be proud of yourself in the end of the day. There are also possibilities where nothing around you will change too. You can’t expect people to treat you nicely because of your nice behavior toward them. You can’t expect the problems will instantly go away after changing your perspective. It seems unfair, but nobody knows exactly what life wants to teach us.

Everything needs time. As time goes by you will get better understanding of things around you, and react wiser toward everything. You will find inner peace and able to see things clearly. You are no longer being a victim, because you have decided to be the hero of your own story.

Sebagian besar bulan November masih bersuhu tinggi seperti bulan sebelumnya, meski di 3 hari pertama sempat turun gerimis, keadaan yang membuat saya tidak bisa tidur nyenyak ini bertahan hingga seminggu setelah fase mercury retrograde berakhir. Baru setelahnya, saat ibu saya sudah berangkat ke luar kota, sore harinya turun hujan yang sangat lebat, yang tentu saja membuat suhu di malam hari lebih sejuk sehingga saya bisa tidur dengan nyenyak hingga esok harinya. Meski suhu pagi hari terukur 22 derajat, namun rasanya tidak sepanas pagi-pagi sebelumnya. Sepertinya sudah masuk musim dingin? Semoga saja ya, hahaha, biar saya lebih cepat masuk ke mode hibernasi akhir tahun.

Untuk pertama kalinya setelah sekian kali ingin datang ke JXB, akhirnya saya bisa datang ke acara Female Daily yang diadakan paling dekat dengan tempat tinggal saya yaitu di Surabaya. Sebenarnya saya tidak tahu banyak tempat di Surabaya, namun ya sudahlah, saya memutuskan untuk berangkat sendiri. Ternyata ada teman saya yang tinggal di Surabaya yang juga mau datang ke SXB, jadinya saya tidak sendirian, mengingat ternyata eventnya diadakan di lantai paling atas Tunjungan Plaza. Sebenarnya saya mau beli lipstik dan hydrating toner, namun kemudian saya teringat toner hada labo saya yang super eternal dan tidak bisa habis masih ada 2 botol lagi, dan saya masih punya beberapa lipstik maybelline yang masih tersentuh ujungnya. Demi menjadi konsumen yang baik, saya harus menghabiskan dulu semuanya sebelum membeli yang baru. Hihi.

Saya yang selama ini kalau naik kereta suka beli tiket langsung di loket, kaget karena menurut petugas loket, mulai 1 September lalu pemesanan tiket hanya bisa dilakukan lewat aplikasi KAI Access. Sedangkan pembelian di loket hanya dilayani 3 jam sebelum keberangkatan, jika tiket masih ada. Seminggu sebelum berangkat, saya sudah menginstal aplikasi ini, namun stasiun keberangkatan dan tujuan saya tidak bisa muncul di aplikasi. Saya yang harusnya berangkat hari Sabtu jadi komplain ke petugas loket karena tiket fisik sudah habis sementara aplikasi saya tidak bisa digunakan. Akhirnya aplikasi di handphone saya diutak atik, diuninstal diinstal lagi direstart hingga beberapa kali. Entahlah. Baru bisa muncul semua stasiunnya. Entah apa yang terjadi sebelumnya, padahal saya sudah menginstal aplikasi sesuai petunjuk di stasiun. 

Akhirnya saya berangkat hari Minggu, karena tiket keberangkatan yang tersisa hanya hari Minggu setelah subuh. Haha. Alhasil saya sarapan di Surabaya begitu sampai disana. 

Pelajaran yang bisa saya ambil dari kejadian ini adalah saya harusnya komplain soal aplikasinya begitu saya tidak bisa menemukan stasiun yang akan saya tuju, sehingga saya bisa berangkat di hari yang sudah saya rencanakan. Selain itu, untuk tips, saat mengakses di siang hari memang sering beberapa stasiun tidak bisa muncul, jadi mending kegiatan pesan memesan ini dilakukan di pagi hari waktu masih segar-segarnya, haha.

Penggunaan tiket online ini tentunya akan mengurangi penggunaan kertas sebagai tiket fisik, dan tentu saja dimaksudkan agar lebih praktis, bisa beli tiket di rumah. Namun, sepertinya memang harus ada peningkatan di bidang teknis untuk mengurangi kejadian macam yang saya alami. 

Untuk tiket kepulangan dari Surabaya, saya berhasil dapat kereta terakhir dan saya tidak dapat tempat duduk, tapi tidak apa-apa yang penting saya bisa pulang, begitu pikir saya saat memesan tiketnya.

Begitu kereta datang, saya memilih gerbong terakhir yang biasanya ada nomor 5 di badannya. Namun, gerbong yang saya naiki tidak ada nomornya, karena saya sudah memutuskan mau naik di gerbong paling belakang.

Gerbong tersebut isinya staf kereta api, begitu saya masuk, mereka mempersilakan saya duduk dimanapun yang saya mau. Begitu pula rombongan sekeluarga yang kebetulan tidak dapat tiket duduk, juga dipersilakan duduk dimanapun mereka mau. Sepanjang perjalanan, staf yang duduk di kursi paling belakang, dangdutan dong. Jadinya gerbong ini tidak membuat saya ngantuk, tidak seperti pengalaman saya sebelumnya saat naik kereta paling akhir dari Surabaya dimana saya selalu ketiduran dan terbangun begitu melewati Sidoarjo dan Pasuruan. 

Bisa dibilang saya dan semua penumpang yang dipersilakan duduk dimanapun dalam gerbong tersebut dapat keberuntungan. Hingga di stasiun tujuan terakhir di Malang, tidak ada satupun dari kami yang digusur oleh pemilik kursi yang kami duduki, jadi itu benar-benar kursi tak berpenghuni mungkin ya. Selain itu, menurut ibu-ibu yang sekeluarganya tidak dapat tempat duduk, yang akhirnya duduk di samping saya, di gerbong sebelumnya cukup penuh dengan penumpang yang berdiri hingga lesehan di dekat perbatasan gerbong. Meski sebelumnya saat saya tidak kebagian tiket duduk, saya selalu memilih gerbong terakhir, namun ini pertama kalinya saya dapat satu gerbong spesial, tanpa perlu pindah pindah duduk hingga sampai di Malang. 

Saya memutuskan untuk membuat post bulanan dan mingguan yang berisi pesan-pesan random yang saya dapatkan. Tujuannya adalah untuk memberi semangat, terutama untuk diri saya sendiri. Saya awalnya berencana memulainya di bulan Desember, namun saya akhirnya memutuskan untuk membuat trial postnya untuk minggu terakhir bulan November ini. Post trial ini pun juga membantu saya untuk tetap menghadapi kehidupan, haha. Bulan ini saya dapat project yang sudah jadi langganan yang selalu membuat saya stress karenanya. Post yang saya buat ini berguna sekali untuk menyadarkan diri saya sendiri. Sejauh ini saya sudah membuat 2 post mingguan dan 1 post bulanan untuk Desember. Semuanya dalam bahasa Inggris. Silakan membacanya jika tertarik.

Baca juga : Weekly Message : Yes!

Baca juga : Monthly Message : December, A New Start

Baca juga : Weekly Message : Fresh

If You Don’t Love Yourself adalah track dari album The Script yang berjudul Sunsets & Full Moon. Dari judulnya sudah ketahuan ini lagu tentang apa, jika kita tidak bisa mencintai diri sendiri maka kita tidak bisa mencintai siapapun. Sangat related dengan kehidupan saya, dimana saya di masa lalu merasa bahwa cinta adalah sesuatu yang eksternal yang tidak bisa ditebak dan bisa membuat kita salah langkah. Seiring bertambahnya usia, saya menyadari bahwa cinta itu tidak perlu kita cari karena kita sendiri adalah cinta. Cinta adalah sesuatu yang indah, yang selama ini dikatakan sebagai sumber kesedihan hingga keputusasaan adalah ego manusia. Seperti kata lirik lagu grup favorit saya C-ute : all of that is not love, but ego.

Spotify

YouTube

Invisible adalah satu track terbaru dari salah satu solois favorit saya, Zara Larsson. Yay. Track ini dirilis untuk theme song Netflix Series berjudul Klaus. Invisible adalah lagu yang membuat saya terharu begitu saya pertama kali mendengarkannya. The greatest thing you’ll ever know is invisible. Satu lagu yang benar-benar langsung saya suka terutama karena suara mbak Zara yang tidak pernah tidak saya suka. Huhu. Love buat mbak Zara pokoknya. How many words does it really take to make a change? How many fights is it gonna take to convince what joy could bring? Lirik ini nyambung sekali dengan kegiatan saya menonton serial gundam bulan lalu, hihi. Lirik lainnya yang membuat saya terharu adalah : You can’t take it, steal it, but you can always be it. Ya benar, sesuatu yang selalu diperebutkan ternyata ada dalam diri kita sendiri.

Spotify

YouTube

Paprika adalah lagu yang diciptakan oleh solois hits Yonezu Kenshi untuk NHK Ouen Song Project. lagu ini dinyanyikan oleh grup anak-anak bernama Foorin yang selanjutnya pada tahun ini Yonezu melakukan self-cover lagu ini dengan vibe yang berbeda. Menurutnya, Paprika dia ciptakan dengan menempatkan dirinya sebagai anak-anak kembali, sehingga lagu ini mampu diterima dan dinikmati oleh anak-anak. Lagunya sendiri juga membuat saya terharu, karena menurut saya membuat saya melihat kebahagiaan, kemurnian dan kebebasan anak-anak di dalamnya. Paprika, we can make our dreams come alive. Rain or shine, we'll find a way to play again another day.

Spotify (Foorin)

YouTube (Foorin)

YouTube (Foorin Team E) (English version)

YouTube (Yonezu Kenshi)