One thing that I recently realized is I still have much more labels I have put on to everything around me. 

Hello, beautiful people! Welcome back to another weekly message. Yay! I want to share something that I just realized recently, that brings changes in my life. It might be confusing but I’m trying to explain it clearly even though I repeat some sentences, lol. My Gemini moon ruler is in retrograde in Aquarius now which feels better than several days ago when it’s still in Pisces, but still it’s retrograde, haha. My explanation might be all over the place (as I just realized to my other posts both in this blog and my YouTube channel recently) but I hope you don’t get confused. I might come back to this article to revise it later. 

One day when I was working in front of my office computer, I found that my headscarf looked different so I needed to fix it a bit. Then I paused for a while and asked myself why I needed to do this thing. It still looked like a normal headscarf. But then, another part of me answered that by using this headscarf in a certain form, I looked like an older woman. I just realized that I hated that. Then I remembered that this came from my childhood, I associated being an older woman (such as mother or wife) with being limited, having less freedom to do anything I want. I associated it with sadness, complaints, fights and financial problems. All of that came from my childhood, where I saw many married couples fighting over financial stuff, a mom yelling to her kids, the husband who left his spouse out of nowhere. My surroundings were chaotic at that time. Also I remembered that mom and dad got married at young ages, so it causes some problems in our family too. 

It continues in my workplace where my co-workers sometimes tell their stories about how hard being a wife and a mother is. Even my boss explained all the details about the do(s) and the don’t(s) about being a wife. Those only showed me that being a wife and/or a mother only makes me sad. 

I don’t want to be like that. I hated that. I want to live freely doing anything and going anywhere I want. I avoided any labels that I associated with being a mother or older woman. Simply because I don’t want to get hurt. It’s all based on fear of getting hurt.

Those labels come from association from past experiences, mostly subconsciously.

People around you might tell you that certain labels or associations you have are silly, and said that you are weird. But, no matter how weird it is, it exists. It exists within you for years without you realizing it. It exists and needs you to recognize it. 

When you realize that you have certain labels associated with your past experiences, then you have options : to still hold it, or to leave it in the past.

What we call reality is how we perceive the world. Mostly we perceive it based on our past and our beliefs (that mostly rooted in the past). What you decide determines how your personal reality looks like. 2 people are placed in the same situation, but they might have different views about it, then they experience different realities. It answered my questions why different people see something as neutral as cloudy day as bad thing and they get angry because of it, and the other ones see it as good thing that cloudy day makes them happy, and the other see it as neutral, they don’t put any labels to it, they don’t see it as “good” or “bad”. 

Any perceptions you have toward something will determine your action, your thoughts and your feelings. But it won’t change how it is. It will stay as it is. Whether you get angry or sad toward heavy rain outside, it won’t change the situation. You can only change your view, your label, your perception, your belief about it. Then you will feel more peace.  

I then realized why I get bothered by something unnecessary. People might perceive me as younger or older than my actual age, but it’s not a problem. Other people’s perceptions don’t define who I really am.

The more I resist something outside my control, the deeper I fall down into it unconsciously. All I need to do is recognize it without judging or putting more labels into it. 

It’s just a label, a belief, a perception anyway. I have the choice to take it or to leave it.

Title photo by lailiving

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